Phil Vickers (1955 –
2017)
The family has recently suffered the loss of my younger brother,
Philip Christopher Vickers. He was a talented individual, who wrote poetry and
songs, played the guitar and was an excellent drummer. Apparently in good
health as he passed sixty years of age, he was diagnosed with leukaemia just a
few months later. Through the good agencies of the doctors and nurses of the
National Health Service, and supported constantly by his loving wife, he
survived another eighteen months in this world. I have often heard of people
who have “died after a long battle with cancer”. This was it. This was what was
happening. Sometimes Phil was winning – or the doctors were winning. At other
times it was the disease that was winning. He was given stem cells by some kind
donor, but the doctors had not been able to find a perfect match. The stem
cells did their best, but eventually the poor things had to admit defeat. Phil
now knew that his time was up, and he accepted his fate.
I miss him already. I have seen a lot of photos of him recently, mostly from when he was still fit and well. We have a video of him drumming at a Festival, and he looks so natural and healthy. I prefer seeing him like that, before he knew that he was to die an early death. He was a very popular person – considerate and polite. He was witty and funny in his conversation. He was very knowledgeable about several areas of life, and maintained a healthy enthusiasm for learning about new things. A lot of people came to his funeral – friends who knew the family when Phil was younger, friends from his schooldays, friends from work and fellow musicians. And they will all miss him, in one way or another.
He chose the music for his own funeral – songs that had had meaning in his life. But we also watched a video of him drumming (the one I mentioned above), and heard one of his more light-hearted poems read out. Not too many funerals get two rounds of applause during the proceedings. My wife said she sensed that Phil was “looking down” on us all.
Will I see him again? Luckily for me, I believe that the life of the soul continues after death: “To consider that after the death of the body the spirit perishes, is like imagining that a bird in a cage will be destroyed if the cage is broken, though the bird has nothing to fear from the destruction of the cage.” What form would we take in the next world? Bahá’u’lláh teaches us that life there is on another plane. In an age when physicists speculate about parallel universes, this suddenly seems quite reasonable!
But would we have a physical form? Would I see Phil at all, or just enjoy his presence? Would I see him as he was at sixty years old, or thirty years old, or as the sweet little five-year-old brother I once had? Certainly a non-physical form makes more sense. Will I recognise him? The Bahá’í Writings say yes: “A love that one may have entertained for another will not be forgotten in the world of the Kingdom…” “The… beloved ones will recognise each other, and will seek union, but a spiritual union.” They also confirm the idea that the next world does not require a body: “From the moment the soul leaves the body, and arrives in the …[next]… World, its evolution is spiritual.” Then what do we all do? According to the Bahá’í Writings, we continue to develop and progress. I find that comforting, because Phil would have always wanted to develop and progress.
It would seem a pity if such a talented and kind person simply ceased to exist. I find it much more credible to imagine Phil as floating free in another plane of existence. I have not really lost a brother, but it may be a while before we are reunited.
I miss him already. I have seen a lot of photos of him recently, mostly from when he was still fit and well. We have a video of him drumming at a Festival, and he looks so natural and healthy. I prefer seeing him like that, before he knew that he was to die an early death. He was a very popular person – considerate and polite. He was witty and funny in his conversation. He was very knowledgeable about several areas of life, and maintained a healthy enthusiasm for learning about new things. A lot of people came to his funeral – friends who knew the family when Phil was younger, friends from his schooldays, friends from work and fellow musicians. And they will all miss him, in one way or another.
He chose the music for his own funeral – songs that had had meaning in his life. But we also watched a video of him drumming (the one I mentioned above), and heard one of his more light-hearted poems read out. Not too many funerals get two rounds of applause during the proceedings. My wife said she sensed that Phil was “looking down” on us all.
Will I see him again? Luckily for me, I believe that the life of the soul continues after death: “To consider that after the death of the body the spirit perishes, is like imagining that a bird in a cage will be destroyed if the cage is broken, though the bird has nothing to fear from the destruction of the cage.” What form would we take in the next world? Bahá’u’lláh teaches us that life there is on another plane. In an age when physicists speculate about parallel universes, this suddenly seems quite reasonable!
But would we have a physical form? Would I see Phil at all, or just enjoy his presence? Would I see him as he was at sixty years old, or thirty years old, or as the sweet little five-year-old brother I once had? Certainly a non-physical form makes more sense. Will I recognise him? The Bahá’í Writings say yes: “A love that one may have entertained for another will not be forgotten in the world of the Kingdom…” “The… beloved ones will recognise each other, and will seek union, but a spiritual union.” They also confirm the idea that the next world does not require a body: “From the moment the soul leaves the body, and arrives in the …[next]… World, its evolution is spiritual.” Then what do we all do? According to the Bahá’í Writings, we continue to develop and progress. I find that comforting, because Phil would have always wanted to develop and progress.
It would seem a pity if such a talented and kind person simply ceased to exist. I find it much more credible to imagine Phil as floating free in another plane of existence. I have not really lost a brother, but it may be a while before we are reunited.
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Photograph courtesy of Suzy Jacoby, of the bands “Firefly” and "Love Distraction".
What songs did he choose?
ReplyDeleteHe chose "Besame la Bembita" by Pupi Lopez and his Ochestra. He used to dance to the album (L.P.) when he was small.
ReplyDeleteThen "Little Wing" by Jimi Hendrix. He used to mention this track particularly to me.
Then a song called "Journey", by Duncan Browne. If you listen to this on Spotify, you might want to listen a few times. Phil took this as an example of *how* to write a song.
We left the chapel to "Until I Reach Higher Ground", by Stevie Wonder. All his choices.
Just lovely!
ReplyDeleteHi lovely tribute, that reminds me I need to add a list of music I would like to my will. I knpw a few of the tracks I want Too many.... Scarlet Begonias by The Grateful Dead, Its in the lyrics.... I also would love eveyone to come in their brightest most colourful clothes, black not allowed and have a lovely bring and share party afterwards.
ReplyDeletebeautiful - thank you
ReplyDeletethat was Semira Holland - sorry still at times not sure how to use these social media things.
ReplyDeleteI can see you wonderful brothers already united in heart and soul ...
This is a bit late, but I have been giving away copies of a CD of Phil's songs, "Seeming randomly placed at first glance". I still have a very few copies left. If you would like one of them, you will need to find a way to send me your address!
ReplyDeleteBeautifully put Paddy, the world is a much sadder place without Fife (I've called him that since we were at school together) and I so miss his wit and humanity.
ReplyDeleteOur French friend, Francis, named him "Fifi" when he was about four years old, so he was often called Fifi, or Fif (pronounced 'Feef', to rhyme with beef). He used to ring me up and say, "It's Fif". It would have been his birthday today.
ReplyDeleteIn January, 2017, I wrote a blog about the death of David Bowie, "A messenger of joy", which again explores emotions brought on by the death of a musician. Of course, I did not know David Bowie personally. Phil was the first person to really bring Mr Bowie to my attention.
ReplyDelete