Friday, 29 May 2026

Courtesy – the prince of virtues

 

In our interactions with other people, courtesy is the practice of politeness and of showing that we respect them and care about their feelings. However, It sometimes seems that people forget the basic elements of courtesy: in what they say or write, they are not treating people with respect, they treat people as if their feelings simply do not matter. Some people feel that they are entitled to say awful things about other people, especially online, often about those they do not even know. (I wrote about this in the blog post “Tweet others as you would wish to be tweeted”, in January 2018.) This lack of respect for other people has sadly also become apparent at a national and international level. Politicians are increasingly critical, rude and dismissive of those in opposing parties or those who have different opinions from them. There are also examples of political leaders talking down to other countries, deliberately belittling their leaders, and treating whole populations as being of no consequence. Land is thought of as important, but not always the people who live there. If there is a difference of opinion between countries, there is no longer always polite disagreement in diplomatic language – on the contrary, the opposing side may be summarily told that it is wrong! In recent years, we have entered a period in which the larger and more powerful countries once again think that they have the right to use their power against other countries and to speak of them in scornful terms.

This lack of concern for others, lack of respect for others and lack of love for others is part of why the world is so unhappy. It is diametrically the opposite of the Bahá’í approach. Bahá’u’lláh wrote, speaking with the voice of God: “
O Children of Men! Know ye not why We created you all from the same dust? That no one should exalt himself over the other. Ponder at all times in your hearts how ye were created.” We know that we are all formed from the same elements and yet we hear people in the public eye, even people elected to positions of power and honour, speaking to, or about, other people as if they were nothing. In contrast to this, Bahá’u’lláh frequently emphasised that we should look upon every other human as being one of God’s creations – indeed look upon them as if they were a letter from God: “O Son of Man! Deny not My servant should he ask anything from thee, for his face is My face; be then abashed before Me.” If they understood this principle, perhaps all politicians would treat others more respectfully.

In all our dealings with other human beings, Bahá’u’lláh stressed the need for politeness, for courtesy: “O people of God! I admonish you to observe courtesy, for above all else it is the prince of virtues. Well is it with him who is illumined with the light of courtesy and is attired with the vesture of uprightness. Whoso is endued with courtesy hath indeed attained a sublime station.” This is an important aim for all of us.

One of the causes of the decline in love and respect for others is the decline in true religion. Bahá’u’lláh recognised this when He wrote, in the nineteenth century: “The vitality of men’s belief in God is dying out in every land; nothing short of His wholesome medicine can ever restore it. The corrosion of ungodliness is eating into the vitals of human society.” True religion is a positive force because it teaches us how to behave towards others. An example of this is the following passage from Bahá’u’lláh:
“Be generous in prosperity, and thankful in adversity. Be worthy of the trust of thy neighbour, and look upon him with a bright and friendly face. Be a treasure to the poor, an admonisher to the rich, an answerer of the cry of the needy, a preserver of the sanctity of thy pledge. Be fair in thy judgement, and guarded in thy speech. Be unjust to no man, and show all meekness to all men. Be as a lamp unto them that walk in darkness, a joy to the sorrowful, a sea for the thirsty, a haven for the distressed, an upholder and defender of the victim of oppression. Let integrity and uprightness distinguish all thine acts. Be a home for the stranger, a balm to the suffering, a tower of strength for the fugitive. Be eyes to the blind, and a guiding light unto the feet of the erring. Be an ornament to the countenance of truth, a crown to the brow of fidelity, a pillar of the temple of righteousness, a breath of life to the body of mankind, an ensign of the hosts of justice, a luminary above the horizon of virtue, a dew to the soil of the human heart, an ark on the ocean of knowledge, a sun in the heaven of bounty, a gem on the diadem of wisdom, a shining light in the firmament of thy generation, a fruit upon the tree of humility.”

If someone truly followed the advice to be, “fair in thy judgement, and guarded in thy speech”, “unjust to no man, and show[ing] all meekness to all men”, and being “a fruit upon the tree of humility”, they would be courteous to all. All those in positions of power and authority should be setting us an example in their behaviour, and showing everyone courtesy – the prince of virtues.